My Teaching Journey

“It’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey.”

Now this isn’t an easy post for me to write. My journey into teaching hasn’t been a smooth one. In fact, it’s been pretty tough for me and has left me borderline ill at some points. But what inspires me to write this, is that it might help someone who is in the same position I was in a few years ago. Instagram, well actually all social media portrays many aspects of life as PERFECT. When actually life is far from it. My Instagram page may be guilty of this. I post all the lovely things I do, because that’s what the world wants to see. But lets be honest… that isn’t real life. The things I will say in this post will be honest, brutally honest in fact. This post is in no way meant to offend people, and of course, no names/ schools will be directly mentioned. If you know me personally, you may be able to put two and two together… So, in the words of Julie Andrews, lets start at the very beginning, it’s a very good place to start…

I will be honest, I never dreamed of being a teacher. Yes I know this is controversial, but it’s true. In fact, for most of my formative years I aspired to be the Pink Power Ranger. So much so, I would actually tell people my name was Kimberly! I never knew what I actually wanted to do, for a while I toyed with the ideas of working in visual merchandising/ creative sort of fields. But realistically, I wasn’t creative enough. I remember being sat at my desk, as a teenager trying to decide on a career route. University was a must for me. It was always something I wanted to do/ was encouraged to do. Not going to university wasn’t an option. My grades were bang average (at a push) so that narrowed down my options a lot. I decided to do some work experience at a local school, because we had to do a work experience module. I quite enjoyed it and a few of my friends were applying to be a teacher… So in true sheep fashion, I applied too. A dangerous game I KNOW. But hey, everything happens for a reason.  I applied and settled on The University of Winchester. This was and always will be one of the best decisions I ever made. I chose the four-year route into teaching (I wanted to maximise my university experience).

The first six months of university was blur, I was too busy having fun! I was 150 miles from home, living with my best friends and having a blast. My priority was living and this I don’t regret (life is meant to be lived).  It wasn’t until my first placement I started to take things a little seriously. I was put in a Year 6 class, in a small village in Hampshire. I then started to realise (ish) the importance of being a teacher. I’m sure some of you reading this, might find it a shock that it took me this long to realise, but I was a carefree 18 year old girl. The teacher I had was experienced, funny and honest. That’s all I really remember from my first placement, it was an observational placement and we were only required to plan and deliver group activities. Looking back, I should have pushed myself to do more.  Second year placement wasn’t my finest of moments, during this placement I learned how to be a more tactful person, around more sensitive people (tact never being a skill I’ve possessed). Once again, our percentage of teaching was low, so at this point, I still had no real clue.

Then my third placement came, and all of a sudden I was expected to teach a hell of a lot. This came as a shock. However, at this point, I was turning 21 and I had matured so much. I was placed in a junior school, in a deprived area. I was in a Year 3 class, with some serious behaviour issues. I suddenly realised, the importance of being a teacher. Creating positive experiences/ escapes for children who have had a really rubbish start to life. Here, I really started to learn how to be a teacher. Planning sequences of lessons, marking and making an impact. This is when my love and passion really began to bloom.

This third year of training was the year I really started to get my butt into gear. I raised my grades from 2:2’s and started getting 70+% on my essays and I really started taking it seriously. I applied for Camp America that summer, and jetted off alone to upstate New York for 3 and half months. This was a defining moment for me. Whilst, it didn’t really help my teaching, it taught me how to care and support children. It also changed me as person. Jetting off to America alone at 21, having to meet new people and put myself into new, scary situations did me so much good. My confidence grew. This is where my love of solo travelling began. However, this life changing trip set my slightly behind track on my dissertation… and I rocked up to my 4^th and final year with nothing but a wicked tan. Suddenly, in my final year it all got very serious. However, I still hold this year as one of the most important to date. I was placed in an infant school and without being dramatic an infant school that changed my life for the positive. I have mentioned this before, so I’m sorry to mention it again. But, I was placed with one of the most outstanding teachers, I have ever witnessed. Still to this day, (6 years on) I use so many tips that I learned on this placement. This was my defining moment! With a lot of hard work, and A LOT of support,  I developed my teaching style. I learned how to plan exciting and outstanding units of work. I learned everything there is to know about phonics, SATS and Year 2. I would say, up until recently, it was one of my biggest regrets not taking a job that was going in that school. However, my journey/life would look so different now.

After receiving and outstanding grade on my final placement, I bagged myself a job in a Year 1 class, in a one-form entry primary school. This is when I really knew what being a teacher was like. I was 22 and carefree. I had the hours and energy to put into making my job, my everything. I feel like there’s not a lot to say about my NQT year, as it went so smoothly. I learned how to be an actual teacher. I had so much freedom at my first school, all my observations went well and I worked with a fantastic staff. However, after a while I did start to burn myself out and I saw other teachers, who worked in bigger settings, sharing planning and having a life. And at 22 I craved this. Therefore, I made the decision to find a job in a bigger school. I applied for a job in a three-form entry infant school. I got the job and I jetted off for the entire 6 weeks holiday and travelled around Thailand and Vietnam alone. So far, my journey is still so full of naivety. I honestly have no idea how I made it 5 years being so naïve.

So my second year was an interesting year for me. I moved in with one of my best friends (I met her whist doing Camp America). It was so fun, we had a house, we had independence and we both had great jobs! The dream. The school I was placed in was an outstanding school. I can hand on heart say, I will never again want to work in an outstanding school. For me, I felt like I was wearing a strait jacket. At the beginning of the year, I was handed a set of LA, MA, HA books and told that I had to make sure my books looked EXACTLY the same as these. I was given all my topic planning, in a zippy wallet and was told to teach it.  The planning was reused from previous years (it didn’t even match the new curriculum). Maths and English planning was planned together (ish) and yeah, that was it. I lost my identity, however I did have life! Because all my topic planning was done, I could get super organised and I was in at 8am every day and left by 5 and that was it! I’d spend one week night doing all my resources for the week and that was it. Weekends mainly free. The dream, right? Absolutely not. However, how do you know what you want, until you really know what you don’t want?

So, in my pursuit of happiness, I applied for another job. Three schools, three years.  This job was in a tough, city school. This time, the school was two-form entry. This I thought, must the winning combination. This is the part of the blog I’ve been dreading writing. This was the hardest year of my life. This was the school that finally stripped me of my identity. Looking back, I don’t even recognise myself. However, if even one person learned from my mistakes, I would be over the moon. So, where to start with this one?

My third year, I was still teaching in Year 1. At this point, I felt I knew quite a lot about Year 1. I was sold the dream. I knew the school was RI, but I wanted to be challenged and pushed out of my comfort zone. My previous year had been so routine. I hadn’t quite realised the extensity of staff turnover at my new school. There was a new head teacher and in two years, there had been almost a whole new staff turn over. This didn’t ring any alarm bells, for my naïve self. IT REALLY SHOULD HAVE. The first few weeks were okay, I was allowed to decorate my classroom how I wanted and do some planning. What I didn’t fully realise though, is that my new school had a scheme of work for phonics, guided reading, guided writing and maths. To be quite honest, I don’t know what’s worse, being handed your planning in a zippy bag at the start of each term or being constrained and constricted by the rules of a scheme. Schemes of work are something I now feel so ridiculously passionate about. What I’m about to say is controversial, and I’m probably going to upset people by saying this… but schemes of work are just a waste of money. I know some teachers love schemes of work and adapt them well to suit their class. However, I find the restricting and frankly demoralising. Following a scheme, is almost like being told you’re not quite trusted to plan your own lessons. The phonics/reading/writing scheme was so unbelievably prescriptive that it had videos online, to show you how your lessons should look… Following a script is not for me. This I found out the hard way. This scheme wasn’t allowed to be changed. Thus began my demise. One day, I was called into the head teachers office and I can honestly say my life changed forever, and not for the better. The head teacher sat me down and told me that my observations hadn’t gone well. “I wasn’t following the scheme.” Due to this, my teaching was so poor she couldn’t even grade me special measures, I was worse. This was a shock for me. As a qualified teacher. I had never received anything lower good. Which she accused me of lying about. This has stuck with me since. Maybe, the head teacher didn’t realise the impact of her words (I personally, think she did). But as soon as you start to think you’re not good enough, self doubt takes over and it’s a downward spiral. I was then given weekly observations, this did not help my stress. I stopped sleeping, I felt sick every single time I walked into school, I was a shaky, fragile, nervous wreck. My anxiety was through the roof. The mixture of being observed each week and constantly called into the head teachers office and told how terrible I was, broke me. I cried every week without fail. To anyone that knows me, I’m not a crier. I do not cry easily, but I was a broken person. It got to the point where it became noticeable. It really did impact my job. I was so scared of not doing things right, that this anxiety overtook everything else. I agree, at this point I was no longer a ‘good teacher.’ I was in fact an emotional wreck. It all became too much and I went to the doctors. Looking back, I was not okay. Despite being told how much of a failing teacher I was, I wasn’t allowed to leave until the end of the school year. I didn’t want to be signed off by the doctors (even though this was recommended by my GP). I couldn’t do it to my class. So I soldiered on, somehow. Looking back now, I was being bullied. Now I know  this is a phrase used far too much and I wouldn’t use this phrase lightly. But it was true. I realised this as soon as I got in contact with my union. They were very keen to get involved, as this wasn’t the first case of this happening in my school… I applied for a few jobs, that year. None in teaching. I had made my mind up, I was a terrible teacher, and the children deserved more than what I could give them. My Mum begged me to stick at teaching for one more year. She begged me to try one more time to see. So, I applied for one teaching job. Just the one. At a small village school. This school was tiny, it only 40 pupils and 3 teachers. It had mixed year groups, something I was scared of. I went into the interview, fully knowing I wouldn’t get the job. Why would they want a failing teacher? I planned a poetry lesson, and suddenly when teaching that class the fire in my belly was reignited. All I needed was to be free. I got the job. I can honestly say this job changed my life. When I went back to my school the following week, the head teacher could not believe I had found a job in another school. She made many comments about how low their standards must be… The last half term at the school was a blur. I was still constantly pulled into the office, but their words could no longer hurt me. Except when they threatened to ring my new school and tell them I wasn’t meeting the teaching standards- that sent me into so much of a meltdown that I had to be sent home. Once again, when I reported this to my union they were not happy. Everything was my fault, one time a classroom had been left in a mess and I was summoned to sort it out. I hadn’t even been there. But the year drew to an end and I survived. I can honestly say, I wouldn’t have survived if it wasn’t for some of the staff that I worked closely with. I owe them my career. I am where I am now because of them. When I was down, they picked me up.

Looking back at this situation now, all I can say is ’Never be ashamed of being broken, because strength is nothing but pain that’s been repaired.” Unknowingly, I learned so much during this year. I learned how not to do things, and I learned how not to deal with people and I learned how important being part of a team is.  

This leads me onto happier memories. I have been at my current school for two years. I can hand on heart say it is the most incredible school ever. It is the first school I’ve worked in that I would send my own children. I have never worked in such a supportive environment. Everything and everyone is wonderful. No idea is too big or too crazy. And most importantly, I have my freedom back. No schemes and no reused planning. I currently teach 17 Year 2/3 children. It is incredible. So many people hear the number of my class and automatically say, how easy I’ve got it. Yes marking is a dream. But planning takes me forever. But I wouldn’t change that for the world. I now know that you can’t put a price on freedom. This past two years has been career defining for me. I have fell back in love with teaching and my standards are back to being where they should be. The staff I work with are so supportive and have helped me gain my confidence back. I am now English lead, I’ve supported trainee teachers and I take an active role in phonics within the trust. I have been on leadership courses this year and I have applied for some exciting additional roles for next year(fingers crossed). It breaks my heart to say that I am in fact leaving this school at the end of the school year. I was asked to move to a school within our trust. This school is a challenging school, with regular Ofsted visits. Despite being gutted, I’m so excited to get my teeth stuck in to a new challenge. I am ready and I feel strong enough to take on new challenges. It is the right move for my career. However, it has taken two years for me to get to this point. And I do have occasional meltdowns about not being good enough.

So, like I said this post was always going to be hard for me to write. It has been a bumpy ride. Nevertheless, I want to remind everyone going through a tricky career time that you can do this. You just need the right support. I can’t believe how much I have learned in six years.

It’s been a bumpy ride everyone. But damn, it is worth it. So here’s to future challenges and being a boss bitch. And to the ones that broke me, all I can say is… LOOK AT ME NOW.

Over and out.

Top survival tips and advice for new, and trainee teachers!

Dear trainee teacher…

Well a congratulations is in order! You’ve survived the journey so far, and that in itself is an achievement. Most likely, you’re getting ready for September, and you just want it to be perfect, right? Everything is laminated, displays are perfect and your classroom resembles a Pinterest board (something I’ve never ‘grown out of’).

This is such an exciting time, but equally stressful, but here’s some advice that I wish I’d have had when I was starting out.

1.YOU ARE NOT PREPARED FOR THIS.

I always compare teaching to learning how to drive (honestly, just bear with me). You never really know how to drive, until you’re in that car alone. You have all the training, support, you’ve read the highway code, passed your hazard perception test and you’ve smashed the practical test. Amazing, right? Then you get in the car alone, with no one there, no one with an emergency break and no one there to help you reverse into that overly tight car parking space. Well for me this fear was pretty much the same as my first day as a Newly Qualified Teacher. I had 31 little Year 1 faces staring at me and two LSA’s waiting for instruction, FROM 22 YEAR OLD ME. Just like driving, you never really know how to play teacher until you’re left to fend for yourself. The only bit of advice I can give you for this is to BE LIKE A DUCK. Above the surface, be calm, collected and confident. Below the surface, PADDLE LIKE HELL.

2. Mistakes will happen, things will be forgotten and not everything will go to plan, because you’re a human and becoming a teacher did not make you perfect.

Even as a more experienced (ish) teacher, I still forget things and I still make mistakes. It took me a while to come to terms with this. You want everything to be perfect and look right. You’ve spent hours laminating resources, but the lesson went bad. You’re only human. Don’t beat yourself up. If you make a mistake/forget something, own up to it and put it down to experience. Get an organiser, write a to do list, drink coffee (or wine if it’s after 3pm) and move on.

     3.   This job is not everything. You will never finish your to do list. So don’t try, just prioritise.

Maybe this is just me. But I’ve never finished my to do list in nearly 5 years of teaching. I get to the point where I’ve crossed off 5 things, then the next day I end up adding 5 more. This is okay. Prioritise by the importance or time deadline. I really love my job and I love a lot of the things about teaching (note not all). However, fundamentally it is only a job. Do not let it define your happiness and do not let it make you ill (speaking from experience). You don’t live to work, you work to live. This may be a very taboo thing to say, but giving your life to the job doesn’t make you the best teacher. I’ve experienced schools and teachers that think that getting to work at 7am and leaving at 6:30pm means you’re the best and the most dedicated?! Quite frankly that is not true. Don’t get me wrong, some days I do get to work early and some days I do leave late. However, some days I leave at 3:30pm, and some days I leave my laptop at work overnight! And do you know what? I’m happy! You do you. You can’t be a good teacher if you’re drained, overworked and miserable. A wise man once said, “It’s only by saying no that you can concentrate on the things that are really important.”- Steve Jobs.

     4.  Be a good colleague.

I’ve worked in 3 schools in 5 years. In my time I’ve worked with so many amazing people. But I’ve also worked with some trickier ones. A happy team makes a great school. Teaching is not a competition. There’s not a prize to win at the end. Be kind, mindful and share! Whilst you may be dying under a pile of marking, running late or even on break duty. It pays to think about others. It might even be as simple as offering to make a drink for a colleague, sharing something you’ve made, helping with a display or even just sticking a kind worded post it note on their desk. You’ll earn a good reputation as a team member.

5. You’re not there to be a friend!

To the children that is. This may sound harsh, but it’s true. Yes have a laugh and have fun. But the children need to respect you. BE A BOSS and be authoritative. I don’t mean be a scary dragon and scream and shout. Do take time getting to know them and establish a positive relationship with them, but remember you’re there to teach them and your job is to help them grow and learn. You’re the adult in the room and you are the power force within the classroom. Don’t bow down to bad behaviour, because you’re scared they won’t like you anymore.

6   6. Have clear behaviour management strategies and STICK TO THEM.

The easiest way to deal with behaviour is to have clear strategies set in place that you stick too. Never back down on a sanction! NEVER EVER. If you threaten to take away a child’s playtime, then do it! If children sniff weakness, they will play up to it. Your school may have behaviour strategies that they wish you to follow (and do follow these). But I always like to have a few tricks up my sleeve. Table points, marble jars and brain booster to mention a few. Focus on the positives and celebrate good behaviour. Remember, children can’t read your mind (they can sense your fear though), so outline your expectations and give clear instructions. This will not happen overnight and you will not crack this on day one or even week one. This is built over time and takes consistency. Start it from the outset and the children know what you expect of them.

7   7.PLAN, PLAN, PLAN. DO NOT WING IT!

Maybe this is just me being an overly organised, control freak. But it’s just not worth the stress. This point may sound quite contradictory to point three. Sometimes, things happen, situations that are out of your control mean you can’t always get everything done. I get it. But there’s a significant difference between teachers that plan their own lessons and those that wing it. The chaotic atmosphere will reflect onto the children. 

     8. Have the highest expectations of everyone ALL THE DAMN TIME. You don’t do half a job, so the children should never do half a job.

Never, ever let your expectations slip. One thing I always pride myself on is that whenever I’m observed/ my books are used in a book look, one thing that is noted is high expectations. You’re expectations need to be relevant for each child, but they should never falter. Every piece of work, should be their best work. Do not let it slide. No matter how ill you feel, no matter how exhausted you are, keep that bar high.

9   9.  Challenge!

Always challenge your students. Every single one of them. Never put a ceiling on a child’s learning. Challenge make things interesting and overcoming challenges creates a sense of achievement. Don’t limit their challenges. Challenge their limits.

1    10. It’s never a crazy idea!

Capture their learning and interest from the second they walk in the door. WOW starts are my favourite way to start topics. From surprise packages, crime scenes and even smoking, erupting volcanoes! Yes, I built a 6 foot volcano, lit it up using fairy lights, borrowed a smoke machine and set it off, with background music from YouTube. It’s never a crazy idea! It’s never too big, it’s never too much of a challenge. You are a teacher, which means you are resourceful and creative. Utilise your skills and always ask around! Be cheeky, the worst answer you will get is no! As Albert Einstein once said: "That is the way to learn the most, that when you are doing something with such enjoyment that you don't notice that the time passes." Create this atmosphere in your classroom.

1   11. Develop relationships with your support staff.

This is so important. If you’re lucky enough to have any support staff, then treasure them! You have to spend a lot of time with these people and good support staff can literally change your life. I’ve been so fortunate to work with some AMAZING support staff. They’ve literally saved my life on so many occasions and some even listen to me cry when I was going through a tough time in a rough stage of my career. However, remember that they are not a slave. Don’t order them around and make demands. Yes give instructions and tasks, but there’s ways around it. YOU ARE A TEAM AND THEY ARE YOUR PARTNER. They are your co-pilot, so value their ideas and contributions. They see things that you don’t. Build that positive relationship, offer to make them a drink and most importantly value them.

1   12. Get parents onside.

Now this is easier said then done. Parents can be one of the trickiest parts of the job. There’s always a slight wariness amongst parents when a new teacher starts. Especially if you’re an NQT. I qualified at the age of 22! This in itself was a challenge. Instantly, I wasn’t taken seriously. This is still a problem. Be realistic, be approachable and most of all be professional. Spending time building relationships with parents is important because parents may then offer to help in school or come along on school trips. Communication is important and try and be honest with parents. Make them aware of changes and work with them to resolve any issues. However, on that note though, don’t be a pushover and don’t let parents shout or swear at you. You are not there to be shouted at or verbally abused. You are always within your rights to ask a parent to leave your room or request for another adult to be present. My favourite line is “If you wish to continue this conversation, then we will need to have the head teacher present.”

      13.  Always ask for help and advice.

The best piece of advice that I was given was by my University tutor. She said, “The day you think that you know everything, is the day you should leave teaching.” You are always learning, every second of every day. You never know it all. I ask for help all the time and it’s not a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of growth. Listen to advice, we’ve all made mistakes and we will all make some more mistakes. But some mistakes can be avoided because someone else may have already made that mistake! Learn from other teachers. On my final placement at University, I had the privilege to work with one of the best teachers that I have ever seen! Still to this day, I follow advice that she gave me. She was truly an amazing teacher. I wish I could have worked with her. Touching on point number 4 again, seek advice from others, it’s not a competition. Experience as much CPD as possible, go on every course you are offered and observe as many teachers as possible. Observe an English lead teaching an  lesson and observe a maths specialist teach a series of lesson. These experiences will help shape you as a teacher. Remember, a wise man never knows all, only fools know everything.

     14.  Time is the best teacher of all.

Give yourself time! This is a journey not a destination. Take time to learn the details of the job. By this, I don’t mean not aiming high. I’m in my fifth year of teaching and have taken on a lot of responsibility, especially considering my age. But when you’re starting out just do your best you can do at any given point.  Keep going. Everything you need will come at the perfect time. 

1   15.Never give up. Keep the dream alive, and enjoy it.

Be magical, inspiring and adventurous. Ask lots of questions, research and never stop learning. The influence of a good teacher can never be removed. So buckle up and remember to enjoy the ride. If you believe in yourself, anything is possible.

“Be daring, be different, be impractical. Be anything that will assert integrity of purpose and imaginative vision against the PLAY-IT-SAFERS, the creatures of commonplace, the slaves of the ordinary.” Cecil Beaton